I Want My Pikmin Please!
by Smash King24
Summary: Master Hand let's Olimar control 100 pikmin at once instead of his regular 6. Can Olimar really control that many or is he letting all his pride as an adventurer get to his head? Don't read if you have an upset stomach. Complete!
1. 100 Heads Are Better Than 6

**I Want My Pikmin Please!**

**Chapter 1: 100 Heads Are Better Than 6**

"Argh! I can't take it anymore!" Olimar stormed down the smash mansion hallway to Master Hand's office. "I'm sick and tired of losing! Everyday it's the same thing! I pull 6 pikmin, I lose 6 pikmin, then I go flying off the stage like I was hit by a freight train!" Olimar pictured the last brawl he had in his head. He and Captain Falcon were brawling on the Pictochat level. Olimar had 6 pikmin with him and he started launching them at the racer. Captain Falcon just falcon kicked them all into little pikmin souls. He then proceeded with falcon punching Olimar off the level. "Grr...I'm getting sick and tired of this! I have to tell Master Hand!" Olimar jumped up to reach the high doorknob to Master Hand's office. He slammed it open hard. "Master Hand! We need to talk!" Master Hand did not answer. He was sitting at his desk watching a computer monitor, mesmerized by the pictures it was showing. Romantic music was playing in the background.

"Oh, yeah baby, take off that nail polish...yeah nice and slowly..." said Master Hand. Olimar was disgusted. Master Hand watches hand porn on the internet?

"Master Hand!!" Master Hand snapped out of his trance and quickly turned off the monitor and the music.

"Oh, Olimar! I-I didn't see you come in!" Olimar was not impressed.

"Like hell you didn't!" Olimar went up to the desk and sat down in the large seat in front of it.

"What's the matter?" asked Master Hand. Olimar shuffled in his seat a little before speaking.

"I need you to change the rules of the game," he said plainly. Master Hand gave a surprised look (however tat works out).

"Change the rules? The rules are fine the way they are," he replied. Olimar looked angry, the antenna on his helmet bouncing back and forth.

"No, the rules are not 'fine the way they are'! Master Hand, I need pikmin." Master Hand was not moved by his demand.

"You already have pikmin."

"No, I mean I NEED pikmin."

"Oh, you 'NEED' pikmin, right right. Well Olimar, I don't think you're pikmin show the same affection to you that you want to show them." Olimar's face went red.

"I don't mean it like that! What I mean is that I want to be able to use more than 6 pikmin in a brawl!" Master Hand paused.

"Why do you need more pikmin. You seem just fine with 6."

"Master Hand, I can't stop losing! They keep killing my pikmin as soon as I pluck them from the ground! You don't even want to know what happened with me and Bowser the other day." Master Hand imagined Bowser on top of Olimar's small body, but quickly discarded the disturbing image.

"You're right," he replied.

"I'm right?"

"Yeah, I don't want to know what happened with you and Bowser."

"Argh! Master Hand, you're not making this easy. Just change the rules around so that I am allowed to use, oh I don't know, say, 100 pikmin?" Mater Hand looked shocked.

"100 pikmin? Are you out of you're mind? That's way too many!"

"Please Master Hand! I need this now more than ever! The new tournament is coming and I want to be able to win it this time and ot get eliminated right in the preliminaries."

"You'll be at an advantage over everyone else."

"I've been at a disadvantage since I've been here!" Master Hand thought for a second.

"Okay...I'll let you use 100 pikmin, but no more."

"Oh thank you Master Hand! You won't be hearing any complaints form me anymore!" Olimar ran for the door before being interrupted by Master Hand again.

"Olimar!" Olimar turned to the gloved Hand behind the desk.

"Disturb me again about this issue and I'll make you clean up the entire mansion eveyday for a month!" Olimar gave a salute.

"Don't worry sir! You won't be disappointed!" Olimar ran out the door and down the hallway excitedly. "Yay! Yay! Yay!" he cheered. He passed by Lucas in the hallway who nearly fell over when the space man ran past him. Olimar stopped and turned to the boy with PSI powers. "Hey Lucas! You wanna go for a brawl? I'll let you pick the stage!" Lucas looked nervous.

"Uh...okay..." he said. "How about Final Destination?" Olimar smiled.

"Great! Meet me there in 10 minutes!"

"Um...okay..." Olimar ran down the hallway to get ready for his brawl.

After 10 minutes of prepping, Lucas and Olimar met in the simulation room. R.O.B. was waiting there by the controls. "Are you ready?" he asked. Lucas gave a nod while Olimar shouted.

"Yes! Let's get this show on the road already!" R.O.B. opened the door to the etry platform and Lucas and Olimar stepped inside. The platform brought them down to the square platform in the centre of the room. R.O.B.'s voice was heard over the intercom.

"Stage?" he asked.

"Final Destination!" Olimar called. R.O.B. nodded and pressed a series of buttons onto the controls in front of him. The square platform started shifting and slowly morphed into Final Destination. Olimar and Lucas stood on opposite ends. Lucas looked a little nervous as he looked into the determination in Olimar's eyes. The announcer's voice called over the stage.

"3...2...1...GO!"

Lucas charged at Olimar with a PK fire. Olimar jumped over him and kicked him in the back. Lucas blocked and swung his bat (stick?) at the short man. Olimar jumped back to the other side of the stage. "Now it's time to see if Master Hand kept his word..." he thought. Olimar put his hand to the front of his helmet and blew his whistle hard. Lucas froze.

"What's he doing?" Lucas thought. A rumbling sound could be heard coming out from under the stage. The ground started shaking. "What's goin on?! What's happening?!" cried Lucas. Olimar started laughing maniacally.

"At last, I finally have the power to overthrow my enemies!" All at once, 100 pikmin shot out of the ground. There was barely enough room to keep them all on stage. Olimar and Lucas were practically swimming in a sea of pikmin.

"What is this?!" cried Lucas. Olimar laughed as his pikmin army ran to Lucas.

"This is....SPARTAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!" yelled Olimar.

One by one, pikmin of all 5 colours were jumping on Lucas and banging their heads into him. In a matter of a few seconds, Lucas' damage gauge had gone over 9000!, uh..I mean 500%. Soon, Lucas' body was sent flying straight up in the air, out of bounds and out of the game. All 100 pikmin rejoiced and jumped up and down in the air. Olimar did the same. "I WON!" he cried. The announcer's voice boomed over the stadium.

"Game!"

Lucas appeared back on the platform in a flash of light. He barely had room to stand with all the pikmin. "Olimar...what did you do?" Olimar snickered.

"I made a deal with Master Hand. Now I can use 100 pikmin at once! Ha ha ha ha ha!" Both of them, along with the pikmin army, boarded the exit platform as the stage turned back into the square platform it was originally. R.O.B. waited for them. When they arrived, R.O.B. looked stunned.

"100 pikmin...does not compute..." Olimar interrupted.

"Come on guys! Let's celebrate our first victory!"

"YAAAAAY!!!" cried the pikmin. Olimar and his pikmin paraded out of the room. Lucas looked at R.O.B.

"I don't understand," he said. R.O.B. made no reply. Olimar ran down the hallways of the mansion, an army of pikmin following him everywhere.

"YAY YAY YAY!!!" they all cheered. Luigi was walking down the hallway when he saw Olimar turn the corner and come towards him.

"Hi-a Olimar!" he said. Olimar ran past him.

"No time to talk, Luigi! It's time to part-ay!" Luigi heard high pitched happy sounds coming from around the corner Olimar came through. Pikmin of every colour were stampeding dow the narrow hallway right towards him.

"AHHH!!" cried Luigi as 200 pikmin feet stomped all over his body. The pikmin continued to follow Olimar down the stairs. Luigi lay there on the ground with feet imprints all over his body. "Ugh...." he said. "Why does Olimar have so many pikmin?"

Olimar lead his pikmin down the huge set of stairs happily. "I don't know what Master Hand was talking about! Controlling 100 pikmin at once is going to be no trouble at all!"


	2. Pikmin Trouble

**I Want My Pikmin Please!**

**Chapter 2: Pikmin Trouble**

Olimar lead his pikmin into the mansion bar. Wario was at the counter, polishing it with a cloth. He noticed the small space man come in. "Aw, what do you want?" he asked rudely. Olimar sat up on a stool and leaned on the bar.

"Where is everyone?" he asked. Wario picked his nose.

"They're all having dinner in the dining room. They kicked me out because they said they were 'disgusted with my table manners' so I came out here to relax." Olimar looked at his pikmin walk in and then he turned back to Wario.

"Drinks for everyone! We want to celebrate out first real victory together!" he said. Wario looked around.

"What friends? You're the only one here!"

"Um, no I'm not." Wario looked down on the floor. Pikmin were everywhere! There was barely enough room for them in the bar. Pikmin were sitting up high on shelves, on or in barrels, at tables, on chairs, on stools, there were even a few sitting on the bar. Wario looked into the beady little eyes of every pikmin.

"Um...how many are there?"

"100," Olimar said plainly.

"Holy cow...Well, I hope you have enough to pay for them." Olimar pulled out his wallet and placed it on the bar next to a blue pikmin.

"They got little bodies, so it shouldn't cost me much. Give them something light. It's the first time they've ever had a drink before." Wario laughed at the thought of drunk pikmin.

"Okay, if you want." Wario started filling shot glasses and passing them to pikmin who passed them to ones in the back. This continued for 30 minutes until every pikmin and Olimar had a glass in their hands. Wario rested his arms at his side from the hard work. Olimar lifted his shot glass high.

"Bottoms up!" At once, all the pikmin downed their drinks. They had to hold it with two hands though, because they were so small. Olimar slammed is glass back on the bar. The other pikmin put their's down as well. "How was that everybody?" Olimar asked.

"Yay yaay yayayay!!!" all the pikmin cried. Olimar was about to order another round when he noticed a lone white pikmin sitting in the stool next to him. It was turning pale (more than it already was anyway) and holding it's mouth. It was making gagging sounds. "Uh oh."

The white pikmin threw up all over the stool and some of it fell onto other pikmin that were under the seat. The sight of the barf made all the other pikmin uneasy as they all started looking queezy. One by one each pikmin opened it's mouth and let out it's insides plus whatever was in that drink. Puking sounds and splattering filled the air. Olimar was getting so sick from the scene he was witnessing, that he threw up inside his helmet, all over his field of view. Wario was laughing like crazy behind the bar, until he realized that he would have to clean this all up after. The pikmin continued to puke. Olimar was blinded by his barf. He tried to get off his seat, but he slipped on the puke on the floor and fell flat on his back. Pikmin near him were puking on him and he was covered in chunky pieces of intestinal fluid.

"AHH!!!!" he screamed as he ran out the door. His pikmin, being the loyal followers they were, followed him, leaving barf foot prints behind. Some of them were still throwing up while they ran. They were so covered in each other's barf that they all looked like yellow pikmin. Olimar was looking for the bathroom but he couldn't see anything. He didn't know he was running straight for the dining room. The puke infested pikmin followed still.

Olimar burst through the double doors screaming his lungs out. All the other smashers looked at the smelly creature at the door.

"What is that thing?!"

"Holy crap! What's that smell!?"

"Ah! He's back!!"

"Sonic's the name, speed's my game!!"

"What the hell are you talking about?!"

"Ah!! The thing's coming this way!"

Olimar jumped onto the table and ran over everyone's plate of food, dropping pikmin barf all over the table.

"EEEWWWWW!!!!" everyone cried. Olimar jumped off the other end of the table and ran out the doors on the other side.

"Was that...Olimar?" asked Peach. Suddenly, the sound of small, stampeding feet came form the other door as a massive army of pikmin plowed into the room. They jumped on the table, ran under seats, jumped on top of the smashers, anything they could to get to the other side of the room to their master.

"AAAAHHHHHH!!!!!" everyone cried as the small, smelly creatures covered them in puke. All the pikmin ran out the room, still puking on the floor as they went. Ganondorf stood up from his seat, pikmin barf dripping off his clothes.

"I'M GONNA KILL THAT MIDGET!!!!" he yelled. Sonic stood up too.

"Sonic's the name, speed's my-"

"SHUTUP!!!!!" yelled everyone. Sonic sat back down.

"I don't know about you guys but Im gonna give Olimar a piece of my mind!" cried Peach.

"YEAH!" cried the others.

They all stood up (except Sonic who was in the fetal position on his chair still covered in barf) and followed the puke prints out the door. The smelly footprints led to Olimar's room which was locked. Ganondorf broke the door down with his foot. Olimar's entire room was dripping with barf and saliva. Chunky pieces of food were mixed into the intestinal fluids. Ganondorf almost barfed himself, but he held it in. His urge to kill was greater than his urge to gag. A lot of footprints were gathered in front of Olimar's closet. Ganondorf went over, the other smashers following closely behind. He could hear high-pitched noises coming from the other side of the door. He opened the door quickly.

"Olimar! I found you- AAHH!"

A flood of pikmin and puke poured out of the closet onto the other smashers. Olimar came out too. The entire room was flooded with barf. The smashers were literally up to their necks in puke. The stench was too much for them, as one by one they all started puking into the already flooded room. This made all the pikmin sick again and they all started puking. Olimar could not even look out through any angle of his helmet because the inside of it had been completely covered in barf. Lucky for him, the room door was closed so none of the barf could spread through the mansion. Suddenly, Sonic opened the front room door.

"Hey guys! What's goin' on?"

A wave of people, pikmin and puked burst out of the room and swept down the hallways. Puke engulfed every single room in the mansion. It was falling out the windows and staining the outside walls of the mansion. Olimar was trapped in the sea of puke and could not even see anything. When everything died down, Olimar felt a strong hand lift him off the ground. He heard pikmin voices dying away in the background. "I guess the drinks were too much for them to handle..." he thought. He heard Ganondorf's voice booming right into his ears.

"We need to talk," he said. All the smashers were standing around Ganondorf and Olimar, every single one of them covered in puke and spit from head to toe. Wario walked into the room.

"Wow, you guys must have had some party...WHY DIDN'T ANYONE INVITE ME?!?!?!?!?"

"SHUTUP!!!!!" they all shouted at Wario. Suddenly, Master Hand floated into the room.

"Olimar, do you mind explaining to me...WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?!?!?" Olimar choked on his own puke. He wasn't feeling so well. Ganondorf cracked his knuckles.

"Trust me, this is going to hurt me more than it will hurt you," he said. Olimar closed his eyes and accepted his fate.

He went broke the next day because Wario had stolen everything he had that belonged to him in order to pay for the drinks and the damages to his bar. He then spent the next month cleaning out the entire mansion from top to bottom, left to right, inside out, side ways and...aw you get the picture. But if it's one thing he learned that day, it is that having an army at you're disposal, might not all seem what it's cracked up to be.

And that's why he's only allowed 6 pikmin in the game.

**THE END**

**Author's Note:** Man that was gross, but I couldn't stop laughing while I was typing ha ha! Please review! You know you want to! You either thought this story was funnyor disturbing, so tell me what you thought!


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